Humor

This will not be another column dedicated to deciding the true meaning of "MMORPG." We've covered that plenty on Massively, but it's safe to say that we allow a lot of different styles of multiplayer gaming to be covered on the site. Half the staff are old fuddy-duddies when it comes to these virtual worlds, but even the fogiest of the fogies sees the writing on the wall: The meaning is changing or at least becoming something different to different people. We can fight it like fighting the latest wave of musical styles, or we can search for the good in all of it and keep up a sense of humor.

I tend to cover whatever I feel like covering, as long as my bosses agree that the games I am writing about do not stray too far away from the MMO core. Some of my readers see my writing as supporting games that are not MMOs, promoting developers who want to ruin true MMOs by selling power, or elevating social games that are anything but MMOs. But I believe I have covered and will continue to cover "true" MMOs. I try to recognize the current state of MMOdom, and I want to capture it all at the same time. It has to be possible.

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A few months ago, when New Year's resolutions came around, I decided to take broad, sweeping strides outside of my comfort zone -- I decided to play more FPS games. Long have I lingered in the comforting bosom of tab targeting, cast bars, and kill-10-boars. So when Renaissance Heroes, a newly released free-to-play FPS, came to my attention, I thought I might have finally found an FPS game that's more my style, that style being "shoot people in the face with crossbows."

I was not disappointed.

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Remember when EA announced its SimCity MMO over a year ago? No? We don't either, and that's because the MMO moniker was only recently applied following the title's disasterific launch.

Not so, according to EA president Frank Gibeau, though. Speaking to GamesIndustry.biz, he insisted that the online-only title has always been an MMO and that it's transition from a single-player franchise to an always-on environment has nothing to do with DRM.

"I was involved in all the meetings. DRM was never even brought up once. You don't build an MMO because you're thinking of DRM -- you're building a massively multiplayer experience, that's what you're building," Gibeau said. "SimCity started out and felt like an MMO more than anything else and it plays like an MMO."

He also posits that DRM is a "failed dead-end strategy" and "not a viable strategy for the gaming business."

So why didn't EA market SimCity as an MMO from the beginning? Apparently it just slipped everyone's mind. "I'm disappointed that we didn't do a better job communicating that upfront," Gibeau explains.

Paradox Interactive has announced the development of Magicka: Wizard Wars, a "PvP-focused multiplayer game based on the celebrated slapstick sorcery franchise."

The game pits two teams of four wizards against each other and features "short battles, persistent character progression, and plenty of laughter." No gameplay footage has been released as of yet, but Paradox has produced a teaser trailer that you can watch by clicking past the cut.

[Source: Paradox press release]

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Warstory: Europe in Flames is one of those deceptively simple MMOs that makes me feel a bit lost for most of the week that I look at it for this column. It seems as though I stumbled into a game that features not only a time-limited server but one that is about to restart once the capital city of Berlin is taken by either the Russians (my side) or one of the other Allies. The goal is to race through content until Berlin is finally nabbed. I was even able to roll a new commander on a new server, but that game was far enough along to convince me that I really need to play in a brand-new game to see what happens from the very beginning.

I am getting ahead of myself, though. How about we talk about the gameplay and how it all feels? Then I'll allow myself to scheme about my possible glory.

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Welcome to the first ever installment of this "roundtable" edition of Second Wind, where the best and brightest (or barring that, whoever's available) here at Massively get together for an evening to act stupid in video games and then talk about it. For our first trip down the rabbit hole, Bree, Eliot, Lis, and I decided to give our mouse-clickin'-fingers a workout by way of Runic Games' Torchlight II.

Our intrepid party of fearless adventurers was made up of Viase the Engineer (played by Eliot), ZERKIN the Berserker (played by Bree, and yes the caps are necessary), and a pair of Embermages played by Lis and me because it was the only class neither of us had played yet. We spent a few hours hacking and slashing our way through the first couple of zones of TL2's campaign, and much hilarity ensued. Click on past the cut for our full, insanity-fueled conversation on the ups and downs of our joint Torchlight II experience.

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In general, I try to be an optimistic fellow. When it comes to gaming -- you know, that hobby we apparently love and enjoy -- I'd rather look on the bright side than the angry, cynical, disgruntled dark side most days of the week. There needs to be balance between such outlooks to be sure, but if I'm to err, I'd rather err as a happy gamer than a bitter one.

So today's list will be a departure for me, as I'm going to complain at great length about stupid little things that annoy me in MMOs. I look at it like lancing a boil: painful, gross, and generally relieving. If you want to join in with me, just remember that the area can get infected if you keep picking at it for too long.

What ticks me off? Open Pandora's Box below and ye shall never know peace...

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What does it take to be an Ark Hunter in Trion Worlds' upcoming Defiance? If the following lore video is any indication, you have to be really into puking, eating mutant lizards, and having needles shoved into the back of your neck. But then you get weapons, and these are really big weapons that you can shoot things in the face with.

So it's a trade-off.

Check out the latest episode of the Ark Hunter Chronicles after the jump. Then finish your lizard stew because you've got puking to do!

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A few weeks ago I asked everyone to send me in screenshots of pre-2004 MMOs... and only Brad delivered. Seriously, people, you've been shown up by Brad. Brad gets the gold star. Brad gets the golden ticket and can come on a once-in-a-lifetime visit to see the fabled Massively word factory. Brad is my hero.

Brad (if you didn't catch his name) sent us in this shot of Ultima Online: "So much fun with vendors! This is a shot of Angelica's on the Chesapeake Server -- a popular shopping spot in Felucca to grab gear on the go. It was one of the few player-owned vendor spots in a protected zone near Lord British's Castle. This would have been taken around 2002. Notice the detail of the fish tank made from stacked cloth and the flowers made with an onion and two cooked eggs!"

Yes. Notice Brad's eggs, people. In them you can see the reflection of your failure. Aw, just kidding!

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While wading into virtual battle in your skivvies may invite the wrath of the PC police, doing so in the world of Lineage II will give you substantial stat bonuses.

NCsoft is running a Choose Your Underwear promotion from now through March 13th. The unmentionables in question are broken down into five cash shop sets, each of which grants the wearer base stat bonuses in the form of +35 to physical defense, +15 to magical defense, +7 to speed, and +15 to elemental attributes (fire, water, wind, etc.). The garments can be augmented with additional stats and skills via life stones and gem stones.

Lineage II's business model relies completely on the cash shop, as 100% of the game's content is available to all players for free.

[Thanks to everyone who tipped us!]

Few people are without opinions on minigames in MMOs. Some love 'em, some hate 'em, and some just ignore 'em. Some even despise that I won't type "th." Takes all types, really. Personally, I'm all for including new types of enjoyable systems that can be repeated, particularly if it benefits my character in some way.

There's also this perception that minigames are just for kids. It's true that more kid-centric titles like Free Realms and Clone Wars Adventures thrive on minigames like you thrive on deep-fried butter balls, but these little diversions exist all over the place in "grownup" titles too. Holidays are a favorite time to trot them out, although there are plenty that exist year-round.

Today we're going to look at 10 creative minigames that have tickled my fancy over the year. Yes, I used the word "fancy." Whatcha gonna do about it?

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I don't think I'm ever going to understand why some people have what seems to be an outright phobia about bright colors. There are people who look down on WildStar and World of Warcraft and Free Realms because the games are colorful, stylized, and uniquely designed. I can't understand it, but I can accept it, even if I disagree with the premise. We've all got our own tastes.

What I can't accept is people who try to argue that as a result, another game is somehow inherently better than these games because it's "not as cartoony."

This is something that crops up time and again in MMO fandom, this sort of never-ending back-and-forth over how one game is cooler than others because of reasons. Here's the skinny, people: Your game is not cooler than anyone else's video game. Your playstyle is not cooler. Your choices in story are not cooler. And if you're trying to play games based on which game is the coolest, you are officially doing this wrong.

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When I play a game like Dragon's Call by GameDP, I am reminded of a riff on that old meme: "In Russia, game plays you." If you do what I do and explore almost any MMO or MMO-like game you can, you often find yourself joining in to play games that really boggle your mind and challenge your perception of what an MMO should be like. Dragon's Call is one of those games. Now, look, I'm up on all of the latest trends, even the ones that are super-fringe and crazy-bad; these are the trends that really interest me the most because they eventually filter into the West quietly but effectively. One of these trends is putting out games that are essentially nothing more than a button pushing contest.

I've talked about the Chinese market before and how it is absolutely filled with browser-based MMOs, some of them lasting for only a few months until they are shut down. The crowd plays as hard as it can, hopes to get ranked highly, and then moves on to the next game. It's so odd.

Dragon's Call has to come from this sort of design mindset, if not from China directly. The good news is that many games from the East are phenomenal, and just like the market in the West, the Eastern market offers a smaller percentage of good games versus bad -- but the good titles are really good. Unfortunately, Dragon's Call is not one of the good ones.

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It's been a while since I visited Remanum, an interesting trade-based MMO brought to us by Travian Games, the same studio that brought us Travian and other interesting titles. I was initially turned on to the game's non-combat options simply because combat is used so much that many of the current combat systems are outdated or just plain boring. Non-combat, or optional systems for play like trade and exploration, are the hope for gamers like yours truly who cannot stand to play a game as though they're clocking in to work.

The only problem with Remanum? I suck at, well, trading. I know that I can grasp the principles of "buy low, sell high" and other market staples, but I simply can't grasp the finer nuances of buying and selling. I have a brother who seems to have a natural way with numbers, but I've always been more of an artist. Numbers and me just sort of stare at each other from across the table.

So why do I like Remanum so much?

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Whenever I wander into a new town in Die2Nite, I try to be as quiet about it as I can. I walk in, nod my head at a few people, and settle down. I also try to figure out the pecking order of the town as quickly as I can. There is almost always a pecking order. If not, it's a town of chaos and likely won't last longer than a few days of zombie invasions. I've played long enough to recognize players who are trying to lead, those who are willing to follow any instruction (even if wrong), and the fact that most players are content with popping in, making a few moves, and logging out.

The town I am in at the time of this writing is called Plagued Sanitorium. The names seem randomly generated for each town, but they always fit. I am a paid member, so I can choose the town I want to start in. Once a town has 40 members, the invasions begin. At 5:00 p.m. EST every day, the site literally goes down while the zombies come. After 10 minutes of attack, players log in to see what happened and who survived. check out any one of my livestreams on the game to see it all in action.

Sanitorium is a pretty unique experience so far, but in most ways it's as common as basic human psychology.

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