Humor

My loathing of Elves is not only well-documented here on Massively, but stretches back to my childhood. I've just never liked them, period. Maybe it's because they're the preppie cool kids in my mind's John Hughes movie, or maybe it's their incredible haughty arrogance and froofy love of flowerwear. In any case, I don't like them, I don't play them, and I feel perfectly fine wishing all manner of humiliating harm upon them. After all, they're pretend and that makes it OK, right?

So in the tongue-in-cheek spirit of imaginary racism, which pretend species makes your skin crawl in MMOs? Can you not abide by Dwarves no matter what? Do Gnomes irk you? Will your eyes roll out of your head if you see another humanoid cat race invade your gaming space? Let's get our hate on this morning! Whee!

Every morning, the Massively bloggers probe the minds of their readers with deep, thought-provoking questions about that most serious of topics: massively online gaming. We crave your opinions, so grab your caffeinated beverage of choice and chime in on today's Daily Grind!

I remember playing Age of Conan when it first came out; it seems like an eternity ago. So many titles have been released and failed since then that it's easy to get it all mixed up, and it doesn't help when many of those titles are sub-par or just plain boring and forgettable. Age of Conan sort of messed with my head with its insistent instancing and odd combat mechanics. I just couldn't wrap my head around what the game was trying to do.

Is it a hardcore PvP-centric MMO? Many would say so. Is it a grand, single-player adventure? In some ways. Is it an immersive romp through the long-lived lore of Conan the Barbarian? I guess so. It's a bit of all of these but does none of them perfectly. I decided to jump back into the game because the last time I played it was when it switched over to its odd freemium model that is all-too-common in Western MMOs these days.

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It's time for a grab bag edition of Ask Massively! A reader named Nicholas is up first:

I was wondering if you could help me remember a game studio that was developing a new Korean action- MMORPG game engine (and it wasn't Bless, Blade and Soul, or ArcheAge). In the tech demo, no environment was being shown; it focused on the combat aspect of the engine. All the combat took place against a white background, and it was combo-based and reactive to hits. I remember a slow motion scene with an NPC being punched in the face and the face distorting. At the time, there were no announced games using the engine; the video was just showing what tech the game studio had developed. If it helps any, I remember the comments saying that the engine was just going to be vaporware.

I think we might! Massively's Lis pegged it as NetEase's Dragon Sword trailer. +1 to Lis.

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If you know me, you probably know that I have a weird fascination with alternate history. You know, the daydreams of historians when they're not rewriting the past to suit the latest trends. "What if?" my mind wonders, especially when it comes to MMOs.

You see, for every game that actually makes it to launch, there are several that die gasping and alone in the bowels of development hell. Sure, many of these are pathetic creatures that didn't really stand a chance anyway, but there are some that could have made an impact on the industry if they had reached release and been halfway decent. We'll never know what a world would look like with these games in them, but we can always muse, "What if?"

Continuing Perfect Ten's recent dark streak, here are 10 MMOs that died in development hell; it's to our eternal loss that we'll never get to play them.

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Sobriety is overrated. Sure, a lot of games give players the options to get characters plastered, but Age of Wushu takes it one step further by incorporating the pop culture notion of drunken fighting into the game. A character with a high alcohol tolerance won't just be able to fight after tipping back a few drinks; he'll actually be able to fight better due to an Evade buff granted after imbibing. Characters with lower tolerance, meanwhile, will just stagger and find themselves unable to react appropriately.

That's not the limit of what you can do with liquor in a fight, though. You can also spray your opponent with spirits in mid-battle, hopefully intoxicating and disorienting the other fighter. Of course, if you attempt to use this technique on someone with a predilection for potables, you might find that you've just handed your nemesis a major advantage. Take a look at some plastered punching in the preview video just past the break.

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Hitting 51 on my Scoundrel in Star Wars: The Old Republic meant getting what is probably the greatest ability ever, the ability to quickly roll forward. I absolutely love any sort of quick movement ability like that, especially rolls -- anything that lets me dart around the battlefield without being directly tied to combat. Being able to do so in Guild Wars 2 was one of my favorite parts of the game as a whole.

We've all got certain abilities that we just like making use of in MMOs. Sometimes they're not really beneficial to our builds, and sometimes they're not even all that useful, but darn it they're just plain fun to trigger. So what abilities do you find the most fun to use? Silly cosmetic tricks? Certain impressive storms of particle effects? Or are you just fond of abilities that work well from a mechanical standpoint with no concern for silly elements?

Every morning, the Massively bloggers probe the minds of their readers with deep, thought-provoking questions about that most serious of topics: massively online gaming. We crave your opinions, so grab your caffeinated beverage of choice and chime in on today's Daily Grind!

Heroes and Generals is a new browser-based game set in the wonderfully bright and shiny world of... World War II. OK, so it's really a gritty game, and it's sluggish at best, but I have a feeling that combat during that amazing time was from the "two steps forward, one step back" school of warfare anyway. I tried to keep that in mind as I slogged through round after round of being shot in the head.

It's not that the game is boring. It's fun-ish, but when I compare it to many other MMOFPS titles, I find it small and slow. It's an instanced-based lobby sort of design. That's not normally a bad thing, and we certainly cover that style of game here on Massively, but this one just sort of felt a bit too small. There's more coming, I hear, so maybe in the future, the game will feel larger.

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Massively's Richie "bogotter" Procopio is concerned for you. He's concerned that you might not have tried out Guild Wars 2's Molten Weapon Facility dungeon, the latest installment of the game's "Living Story" arc Flame and Frost: Retribution. He's equally concerned that you might have missed the memo about just how temporary this dungeon really is: It's over on May 12th, meaning you don't have long to check it out before it's gone. Forever.

But it's all good because Richie has put together a brand-new video guide to the dungeon, so you can either watch it and get a jump on playing through the zone yourself this weekend or just live vicariously through him, which would certainly involve less death. Enjoy his walkthrough after the break! (Dead goat sold separately.)

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Neverwinter's launch into open beta began last week, and through the grace of my press account, my Great Weapon Fighter was lucky enough to begin her digital life alongside players who forked over $199.99 for the Hero of the North Founder's Pack. I lack any of the Founders Pack bonuses, so off my plucky human character went, surrounded on her first day almost exclusively by panther-having Drow.

Justin's been serving up a delicious helping of launch diary goodness, but he's relaxing on a cruise ship this week, so you're stuck with me! Join me as we sally forth into my launch-but-not-really-launch-it's-open-beta-okay-guys-but-we-aren't-deleting-characters-anymore-no-really-it's-still-open-beta-look-it-says-so-in-this-blog-post impressions! The first section is about thighs.

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"In the distant forests of El'quen, a dark evil stirs. Marrowgore the Unhunter, imprisoned for a thousand years in Cauldron Lake by the Eye of Son'drak, has broken free. Now, he and his evil BoneSlurpers stage an all-out war on the United Provinces. You, a freshly christened hero known for valorous acts both on and off the battlefield, must take charge of the Sacred Axeblade of Loqtai, harness the power it contains, and send the Unhunter back to his watery prison.

"But first, can you get me nine wolf pelts?"

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War Thunder, a new instanced-based WWII flying battle, uhm, thingy, didn't really seem that appealing at first. It looks nice, and yes, the planes can be controlled in a few different styles ranging from an FPS twitch style to a more "realistic" mode, but I was worried it would be just another slogging grind until I was able to have any fun. There's some truth behind my worry about the grind, but overall I had an incredible time in the game. The only real shame is that I didn't get to put as much time in it as I would have liked. The game had infrequent connection issues, but when they cropped up, they lasted a while. Even so, each match lasted long enough to give me a pretty good taste of combat.

I stuck with the "arcade" style of gameplay. It's a simpler way to control the planes that allows players to point the mouse pointer for control. You might need to land for repairs and take off again, but it's as simple as slowing down until you touch down. I started to take the more realistic mode's tutorial, but as soon as it told me I had to manually control much more of the plane's controls, I gave up. Call me a wimp, but I just wanted to shoot planes.

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Working at Massively has given me several years to gain an appreciation for official game sites done properly. You wouldn't think that putting together a website for a game that's already online would be the difficult part, but apparently it is. EverQuest II and Lord of the Rings Online both hide their screenshot galleries in unrelated headers. Final Fantasy XIV doesn't link to the official forum from the main page. And this isn't even discussing sites with auto-playing videos or Flash elements preventing you from interacting with the site normally.

Pretty much every MMO requires you to go through the official site on a semi-regular basis, which means that any minor problems start to become continual irritations given enough time. So what frustrates you about official game sites? Wonky graphic placement? Poor font choices? Too many separate logins? For that matter, what official game sites do you think have pretty much gotten the formula correct?

Every morning, the Massively bloggers probe the minds of their readers with deep, thought-provoking questions about that most serious of topics: massively online gaming. We crave your opinions, so grab your caffeinated beverage of choice and chime in on today's Daily Grind!

I could make this a very short piece by saying that APB: Reloaded is simply as fun now as it has ever been. The game is a blast in more ways than one. Heck, I could close it right now by telling you that not only was my return to the game well worth the effort but also that it also served to slap me on the side of the head to say, "Hey, dummy, remember how fun it is to run over people?" I'd rather give you more details, though, especially for those of you who might not have played the game or haven't played it in a long time.

APB: Reloaded is essentially a lobby-based shooter. The lobby -- or social district, as it is called -- and the instanced battle arenas are massive places. While I livestreamed the game last week (you can watch the embedded video after the cut), someone accurately commented that watching it was like watching "GTA Online." I agree, but it's also so much more than that. Join me past the cut and I promise not to run you over.

(EDIT: I was able to order an APB: Reloaded box from Newegg.com for $7.99 USD which contains "over $50 value" like a permanent Magnum gun, a Cisco car, 500 G1 credits and 30 days of premium. I paid no shipping fees at all and received it within three days of ordering, but after this article went live.)

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LAST TIME ON THE PERFECT TEN: Games were shut down, tears were shed, memories were dragged unwillingly from long-term storage, and videos were shown. Also, Marty totally suckered Biff into driving into a truck full of manure and then got his parents to kiss at a dance so that he wouldn't be erased from the space-time continuum.

AND NOW FOR THE EXCITING CONCLUSION!

Is it completely morbid to want to revisit (or see for the first time) the final moments of MMOs? Yes, but also no. Really, it's just interesting to me, and I have no great agenda at play here. Sometimes seeing how a game goes out can tell you a lot about its community and dev team. So join us now as we hit the second half of 10 videos showing the last few minutes of these online RPGs.

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If you live in the Northeast, chances are you ignore both the calendar and the furry little four-footed weatherman when it comes to anticipating the arrival of spring. In fact, you just don't believe it until you see it! Plenty of kids in that region are pros at gathering Easter eggs in a snowsuit. Although some might argue that the four seasons are actually Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Road Construction, I contend that they can experience an actual spring. And after a week of sunshine and non-frosty temperatures, I say it's finally made an appearance!

Doh! I spoke to soon: It's back to the 20s. Tricksy weather, you almost fooled me. Oh well, I guess I can dive back under some blankets and watch more Massively TV instead of venturing into that thing called "outdoors." You, too, can take refuge from the never-ending winter by watching The Stream Team visit virtual lands of sun, warmth, even lava. Whom am I kidding? They will probably taunt us in another world of snow!

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