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Reader Comments (29)

Posted: Oct 6th 2011 3:23PM nimzy said

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The second someone asks how long the run is going to take, I'm out the virtual door.

Posted: Oct 6th 2011 3:35PM Space Cobra said

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Actually, cars running into houses are not that rare; heard a few reports in the news every once in awhile.

As for Imperial Troopers, I have heard of Police Raids (or seen logs and after text-chats). So, that's possible. Of course, you are gonna have your friends/guildmates wondering about you and why your house was raided.

Cat/Dog aggro works a bit, in that they seek attention or make noise and sometimes these noises are warnings of a prowler...or potential police raid.

Anything that happens at a neighbor's house, be it fire or domestic dispute that turns load/ugly, is a potential.

Sheesh, I got a million of these, although I rarely use them. Best keep some of mine a guarded secret. ;P

Posted: Oct 6th 2011 4:38PM yuberek said

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@Space Cobra

Very true! My aunt's house was hit by a car. He/she pulled back and left the scene.
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Posted: Oct 6th 2011 3:36PM Pingles said

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My favorite was "Sorry, been playing Playstation at the same time and have to concentrate on the PS game. Bye."

Coruscating Mine in Dark Age of Camelot.

Posted: Oct 6th 2011 10:44PM DeadlyAccurate said

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@Pingles I had an EVE corpmate who was always playing either CoD or MoH or Battlefield in the middle of many of our ops. As in, alt-tabbing between the two games. Drove me nuts.
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Posted: Oct 6th 2011 3:40PM Halldorr said

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Have done both 8 and 10 :-P

Posted: Oct 6th 2011 3:47PM (Unverified) said

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"Mah toes are cold!" /disconnects

Posted: Oct 6th 2011 3:59PM aurickle said

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I prefer someone declaring spouse/girlfriend aggro to something that actually did happen to me once. Our tank took a bio break that lasted for over a half hour. Coincidentally, so did one of our healers. While we were waiting for them to come back it came up in conversation that she (the healer) was visiting him for a few days. So yes, it was technically a bio break -- just not the kind of biology we thought we were waiting on!

Needless to say, none of us were happy to be stuck twiddling our thumbs while two of our guild's key players were getting it on.

Pets, by the way, can be blamed for all number of things. They can "accidentally hit the power button", "chewed through my headset's cord", "pee'd all over my desk/lap", etc.

Posted: Oct 6th 2011 4:31PM (Unverified) said

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@aurickle Ya know, I actually did have my cat press my powerstrip button once. I reconnected shortly after and finished the run, but that can really happen!
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Posted: Oct 6th 2011 4:13PM Ilikesoup said

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There are none. Man and up and let them know you're a selfish shit that can't manage their time.

Posted: Oct 6th 2011 4:25PM (Unverified) said

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how about -

Got to go watch p0rn with my cousin?

this is the excuse that someone used to leave a random dungeon once
seemed to work good, everyone was quiet after and there were no objections

Posted: Oct 6th 2011 4:54PM nomore7734 said

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@(Unverified)

I just.. can't.. stop... laughing..

Because the very next thing that popped into my head was. "with my cousin, Bob!"
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Posted: Oct 6th 2011 4:35PM (Unverified) said

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I love the header image for number six. :D Great article Justin, it's so very funny.

And to add a sleazy excuse don't forget the good ol' lag or computer slowing down. Say you can't play it's so bad and maybe even that you have to restart.
Only problem is that this one leaves your group hanging leaving them to expect that you'll be back. I always hated when that'd happen in a group. You'd see that person still in the group but disconnected. Sometimes the group would just sit there twiddling their thumbs waiting. Usually you would all wait when it's a tank or healer which happened all too often.

Posted: Oct 6th 2011 4:52PM GrumpyGnome said

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"Oh my God! I just sharted..." usually works for me.

Posted: Oct 6th 2011 4:56PM real65rcncom said

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Funniest, truest and best article I've seen in awhile, lol! I recognize a few of my own here :P This one had me cracking up:


"8. "Power outage! Act of God!"

OK, this one takes a bit of setting up. You need to let the group know that there's a storm rolling in, usually by interjecting statements like "Wow! Look at that lightning!" to people who can't see squat. Then fake a power outage and you're home free.

Of course, if you're going to be a liar, liar, pants on fire, it helps to have the Weather Channel on your side. If suspicious friends look at the weather map and realize that the nearest storm is in the Arctic, your ruse will be at an end."


The setting up part is absolutely true lol.. Thanks and nice write up!

Posted: Oct 6th 2011 4:56PM nomore7734 said

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i've seen at least one person pull a 'LLLEEEEROOOOY" - obnoxious shout and all.

You'd think that would piss everyone off, right? I was certainly ticked about the wipe, but the rest of the PUG seemed to agree that it was 'worth it for the lulz' .

Posted: Oct 6th 2011 5:03PM real65rcncom said

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One you forgot though, but it's a retroactive one:

11. Falling asleep at the keyboard after a long hard day at work/school/nite up with the baby.

This one works retroactively because you cannot explain it until the next day, not during the raid.

Make sure to talk less/less in Vent, all the while making your toon a TAD slower than usual but nothing that would wipe the party. Everytime the raid leader says "Everyone over here/there/behind this now" always be the last one.. sometimes having them call you out by name.

Then after a few wipes, don't rez your character. Just lie on the ground and sit. You can even leave the computer on and walk away to go watch television. Come back and check periodically to make sure everyone in your raid group has disbanded or they've kicked you out. Then you're home free.

Log in the next day and "apologize" for being so bushed, you left slobber all over your keyboard. People will laugh and forget it because they've either gotten someone else or the raid died.

Warning: Do not have housepets like cats, dogs or even small children near your keyboard. If they accidentally hit any keys, your character may rez or move (if you rezzed first) and people will assume you are doing what you aren't pretending to.. feigning AFK by snoozing.

Posted: Oct 6th 2011 5:28PM (Unverified) said

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What about the greatest excuse of all, mudbutt?

Posted: Oct 6th 2011 5:53PM EuchridEucrow said

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Guild member in World of Warcraft said he couldn't make a raid because he had to help his girlfriend pick out drapes. He always had some bullshit excuse or another but this was the one I found the most amusing.

Posted: Oct 6th 2011 6:12PM Ozkaros said

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I had to bail once because of a gas leak in the apartment below mine. My neighbor had moved out a few days ago and no one was living in there. I told the group what was going on and then got the hell outa there. I'm not going to risk being blown up for a dungeon. Now if it had been a raid... no I'd still get the hell outa there.

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