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Reader Comments (43)

Posted: Jul 2nd 2011 8:11AM Tizmah said

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I think genuine dating and it forming into a real life relationship is great. We've all heard of that before. But dating in an MMO just to be dating? Very silly in my opinion. I don't see the purpose in having a "virtual" girlfriend while having a real life one or none.

Posted: Jul 2nd 2011 9:11AM SgtBaker1234556 said

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@Tizmah

This pretty much summed it up. Real relationships form in MMO's just like in any other hobby, it's just a way to connect and if the connection even exists outside the game, then that's cool, nothing new really.

But, dating in MMO's for the sake of having a virtual girlfriend...? lulz, might be a good idea to ease up the RP a bit :-)
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Posted: Jul 2nd 2011 10:58AM ChongShin said

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@SgtBaker1234556 Good response, and that's the way that I see it, too.

There are three areas of concern that I see. The first is that an MMO is a hobby that's shared with people from all over the world, so meeting that person who you "click" with could be difficult and / or expensive.

Second, there's the very real possibility that the two of you won't actually get along in person - text and in-game interactions only go so far to reveal the person who you're hanging with in that virtual environment.

Lastly, no matter how much you may think that you "know" the person, NEVER assume that they've been completely open & honest. By its very nature, the virtual world allows the person to present a side of themselves that may be real, but is only a tiny, potentially idealistic fraction of who they are as a person. Trust me on this.

If you do meet someone from an MMO, always meet first in a public place. It doesn't matter if you're man or woman. You want the safety net of witnesses and the option of politely excusing yourself after awhile. You can't do that if it's "a date".
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Posted: Jul 4th 2011 6:34AM Lorell said

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@Tizmah My and mine BF/fiancée were at first talking a lot during playing MMO (first we were guild mates, later friends who talk about theirs interests and problems) and after that we decided to meet in RL (we live in same country) and then we found out it was "it". Coz we live in different cities we treated MMO like some kind of communication (mumble / chat) and some kind of doing common hobby together / spending time together. Beside us, I know at least 3 couples who "meet" thanks to MMO, some of the them ofc won't end with "marriage" but one did.

Now mine fiancée plays different MMO than me, but we are engaged and plan to soon live together and marry one day. For me, this "first meeting" is no different than relationship via clubbing or date side.
One day I have discuss with my guild mate, who said for him meeting gf via some "date portal / side" is better, but really? Both in MMO and some "date portal" you don't "see" this person and only can talk with each other or send photo and later decide to meet in RL or not. In case of MMO It's even better coz you know share same interest as the "other half". In case "meeting new ppl and maybe future gf/bf" in MMO can be just another way to meet ppl - just like date sites / clubbing / forums ect.

If such friendship will evolve our of game, than better. But dating in game just to date, even if you ever will see this person is rather... hmmm... silly.
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Posted: Jul 2nd 2011 8:17AM Danteeeee said

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"Lol" pretty much sums up what I think. The only reason I've ever found for in-game relationships is in Perfect World, where Marriage to another player in-game will get you items and whatnot.

Posted: Jul 2nd 2011 8:21AM dudes said

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Daisy is really called Mike.

Posted: Jul 2nd 2011 12:00PM bcrfan said

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@dudes

"Daisy is really called Mike."

This.
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Posted: Jul 2nd 2011 8:23AM Haplo8 said

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Even though we technically knew each other for years, it was through WoW that my wife and I reconnected after about 17 years. 2 years later we were married.

Posted: Jul 2nd 2011 8:23AM Panicbutton said

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I met my wife whilst playing WoW together 6+ years ago. We were friends for a couple of years before realising we "really" liked each other and starting a relationship. I was living in England but raiding on the US servers at the time and she was living in the US, so we had our share of long distance challenges. We've been together for four years, married for one and live together now though.

Having a common interest in gaming has helped at times, it certainly helped early on and it was great having something to do together during periods of our long distance relationship. Having said that over time we've had problems due to gaming as our relationship became more normal and we started living together.... at times I think I wanted to play a little too much ;)

Nowadays we still play together and have fun, the only hotspot is doing 2v2 arenas together... which can get a little feisty when one of us drops a clanger!

Having related my experience though I have to say I do think it's a bit weird to go looking for a relationship in an MMO, finding one by accident is great but actively seeking one out can be a bit creepy.

Posted: Jul 2nd 2011 8:42AM PrimeSynergy said

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@Panicbutton

That last paragraph sums up my thoughts nicely. If it happens by chance then I say more power to you. Not only did you find someone you loved, but you also have a nice story to boot haha.

Virtual dating/actively seeking a relationship in an MMO on the other hand is just a bit off to me. It's something that sounds right in concept, but if you think about it for more than a second then everything starts to not make sense. I dunno, it's just not my cup of tea
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Posted: Jul 2nd 2011 8:48AM ElfLove said

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@Panicbutton

*sigh* I wish I could find true love like that in any aspect of life.

But finding it in an MMO is nice as well.

I just wish this kinda stuff would happen to me. :(



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Posted: Jul 2nd 2011 9:07AM BigAndShiny said

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@ElfLove
That's probably cos it doesn't happen very often in mmos. IRL theres a lot more opportunity. In these games theres like 95% male population just because of how the games are marketed.
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Posted: Jul 2nd 2011 9:16AM ElfLove said

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@BigAndShiny

I'm female actually. ^_^

I can just never find that magical moment when people seem to fall in love and marry in MMOs. I don't know what I'm doing wrong...I'm just being myself.

*sigh*

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Posted: Jul 2nd 2011 10:12AM Fakeassname said

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@ElfLove

stop trying so hard, the moment you stop looking for something it shows up.
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Posted: Jul 2nd 2011 5:10PM (Unverified) said

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@Fakeassname i wish, with the low female pop... and guys pretending to be female its hard to both trust any girls. and when i stopped looking the best i got was me being more alone.
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Posted: Jul 2nd 2011 5:12PM ElfLove said

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@Fakeassname

Happily married people tell me this all the time. :(

I am not actively looking and I'm not being pushy...it just never ever happens to me. I just get to watch my friends pair off and have great married lives around me.

it'd getting harder and harder to 'not look' and 'not try'... especially now that I'm a woman in her mid 30's...them ore years and I'll be invisible. :(



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Posted: Jul 2nd 2011 5:14PM ElfLove said

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@ElfLove

'Ten more years... I mean...

Massive needs an edit button >_<

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Posted: Jul 2nd 2011 8:44AM JadeCurtiss said

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MMO dating is way to desperate. But then Also MMO dating common 90% of the player are male so it would probably be allot of gay dating nothing wrong with that but still. Move you ass outside get meat a girl in real life and not in a mmo. anoter bad thing is if I dated a girl in a mmo I would never see her cuz mostly she would live in US or UK and im on the other side of the world so even that would be lame.

Posted: Jul 2nd 2011 9:05AM SkuzBukit said

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I actually think that the aversion to the idea of "MMO Dating" is simply the same kind of aversion to any new way of meeting people that you may end up in a relationship with.

The exact same kind of sentiments were voiced about dating websites & they have grown yearly & they may even grow to overtake other forms of meeting someone, though the workplace will be a strong one for years yet.

If MMO Gaming continues to become a stronger & stronger part of everyday social interactions then gaming leading to people dating others through their games will only increase, for myself I've dated several women that I met through games & the huge head-start it gives a couple in having a topic they both care about is not to be underestimated, much like any couple meeting at a hobby or activity they both enjoy I don't see gaming as being any different, it's just another way people of a like-minded nature can meet each other.

So to sum it up I don't think it's anything to frown on or see as weird, it's just normal human nature to be distrustful of the means to finding love if it's not the one we are most familiar with up until that point in time. I can see MMO dating really taking off in the future.

Posted: Jul 2nd 2011 9:20AM BigAndShiny said

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@SkuzBukit
The issue as i see it, is that with a dating site you see a picture. Sure that guy/girl could be a 64 year old grandpa, but you'll find that out in half an hour.

With MMO you visually associate the character with the player unless you know them irl. Even though i know that any female character i see is almost definitely a man, I still find myself addressing these people 'her' or 'she' or whatever.

And when i hear that it is a woman or man, and their avatar is their gender, i associate avatar looks with them. I start thinking "well they must be attractive cos their avatar is pretty" or something.
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