| Mail |
You might also like: WoW Insider, Joystiq, and more

Reader Comments (30)

Posted: May 31st 2011 12:53PM 2DruNk2FraG said

  • 3 hearts
  • Report
Not saying this is true for everybody, but If he wasn't gaming I still think he would be doing something else than hanging out with you lady.

Posted: May 31st 2011 12:57PM Interitus said

  • 3 hearts
  • Report
Aww I thought this was some new game. I'd play Divorce Online

Posted: May 31st 2011 1:25PM jealouspirate said

  • 3 hearts
  • Report
@Interitus

I thought the exact same thing. No doubt a game called "Divorce Online" would have a robust and vicious combat system.
Reply

Posted: May 31st 2011 1:48PM Irem said

  • 2.5 hearts
  • Report
@jealouspirate
Thank goodness it wasn't just me.
Reply

Posted: May 31st 2011 1:13PM Budukahn said

  • 3 hearts
  • Report
It's a thought that worries me ocassionallyy. I'm not married, though I am engaged and sometimes herself will say to me: "How about we just talk tonight?" or "Lets watch a DVD or "Lets go for a walk".

I have to admit my gut reaction to those suggestions is "Booor-ring!", though I like to think that, had we a bit more disposable income I would be up for doing other things. Cinema trips, Museum visits and general days out come to mind.

So, am I addicted because I don't want to watch some Romcom or talk about shoes or am I just expressing a preference to spend my liesure time doing something fun?

Or maybe I'm just selfish. I can live with selfish.

Posted: May 31st 2011 2:29PM Averice said

  • 2 hearts
  • Report
@Budukahn It sounds like you've either got a mild addiction or you and your fiance just don't have much in common.

It sounds like you both work, get home, and you just want to veg out by yourselves, and while she's often okay with that, she wants to veg out with you.

I suggest two things. 1. Take a one month break from gaming. Don't play any games at all. No MMO's, no CoD, nothing. You'll get kicked from your raid guild? Well... that's too bad, it's just a game. If you decide to a lot time between the two though, I suggest you don't try and literally a lot time, no one in a relationship appreciates being told "I just want to spend some time by myself 3 days a week". And 2. You could also try to find a game that she enjoys and you could play together.

Games are one way to save cash on entertainment expenses, but really, maybe you shouldn't be spending time gaming and spending more time trying to increase revenue in the first place. And like your fiance suggests, going for a walk costs nothing and depending on where you live should be a pleasant experience. And if your neighborhood sucks for walks, take the public transportation with a couple snacks and go for a walk somewhere else.

If you just don't like your fiance... well... that's another issue entirely.

Oh, also, there should be free museums near where you live. There are always free things to do in cities if you look for them.
Reply

Posted: May 31st 2011 2:49PM (Unverified) said

  • 2 hearts
  • Report
@Budukahn I suggest not listening at all to the above poster and instead go with "selfish."
Reply

Posted: May 31st 2011 3:49PM Meagen said

  • 3 hearts
  • Report
@Averice 'no one in a relationship appreciates being told "I just want to spend some time by myself 3 days a week". '

People vary wildly in how much they need alone time vs. time with significant other vs. time with friends. If one partner in a relationship wants to spend more time together than the other, that's just one of those little things that needs to be resolved (like neatness vs messiness, or sleeping with the window open vs closing it). In some cases both parties care about each other enough to come to a compromise that isn't entirely comfortable for either but makes both feel appreciated, and in some cases they decide it's not worth the trouble.

It's perfectly okay to say "well you're nice and all but I don't really want to change my habits for you, so I guess this isn't going to work out". Saying "I'm not changing any of my habits but I expect you to remain my significant other anyway" does, however, make you a bit of a jerk.
Reply

Posted: May 31st 2011 3:51PM (Unverified) said

  • 2 hearts
  • Report
@Budukahn Different people like to relax different ways. Some people want nothing more than to shut out the world and distract themselves, while others want to be surrounded by friends or loved ones to talk away the stress. Of course, part of a relationship is doing what the other person wants to. This sounds a lot less like a gaming issue and more of a relationship issue.

Back to the topic at hand, I think all this shows is that gaming is now so common a passtime that it's being cited in divorces, not that gaming or inattentive spouses have changed. And it's the two most successful franchises, WoW and CoD, which further emphasizes my point.
Reply

Posted: May 31st 2011 1:17PM Aetrix said

  • 3 hearts
  • Report
Groundbreaking new studies show that men prefer carefree entertainment over nagging wives. Film at 11.

Posted: May 31st 2011 3:51PM Meagen said

  • 2 hearts
  • Report
@Aetrix I don't nag my husband. Sure, I'm really looking forward to that Vanquisher title, but if he'd rather hit sleeper sites with his corp then it's okay by me.
Reply

Posted: May 31st 2011 6:52PM Irem said

  • 2 hearts
  • Report
@Aetrix
It's unfortunate that so many of them are married to people that they'd rather not spend time with. Sorry, but if you're given a choice between your significant other and a video game and your choice is -always- the video game because you see the other person as a nagging burden on your "carefree entertainment," then yeah, he or she should probably be looking into ending the relationship.
Reply

Posted: May 31st 2011 1:23PM Rinzik said

  • 2 hearts
  • Report
Im a gamer... but i know my limits, i spend lots of time on games each day but i dont ignore my family, my wife and i also play certain games together.
When my family is away i let myself go and can ignore eating and sleeping to play lol its my escape from the everyday things.
In my opinion alot of the diovorces happen because shes not willing to even give a game a try let alone trying to maybe join in even though she wants him to do all the thigns she wants to do, yes not everyone likes playing games but if you really care you should at least put the effort in to try , its not a one way street.
Potentially yes the other person could be that boring but if thats the case you shouldnt be with them anyway.
No matter what though if you have a family you should know when to stop and take time off gaming to spend time with them, but i do agree with budukahn if we had a bit more spending money to get out and do stuff i probly wouldnt be on the games as much either.

Posted: May 31st 2011 1:36PM WyattEarp89 said

  • 2 hearts
  • Report
I think both the husband and the wife should always do something with their spouse even though it might not be something they are into. The fact that you give in and do something with them shows that you enjoy spending time with your spouse.

For example, your wife likes to walk on the beach and talk to you, while you would rather play a game. But, even though you find walking on the beach and talking boring, you go with her anyway. It shows you are willing to give up doing something you enjoy to be with your wife. If you do this I am sure your wife would do something with you that she is not into... maybe play that you were about to start up before she asked you to walk with her?

I am not good with explaining with this kind of stuff, lol. Point is both the husband and the wife should always do something together even if it is not something they are into.

Now if the person is the type that always requires attention and gets mad when you just want to play a game or watch a movie from time to time then that is a whole other issue and it is something that needs to be dealt with.

Posted: May 31st 2011 2:13PM Space Cobra said

  • 2.5 hearts
  • Report
Pretty much what Rinzik and WyattEarp89 are saying.

There are multiple things to this but ultimately it is either sharing the same hobby or understanding each other. I can go for hours on a game, but you need to sometimes tear yourself away. Even just for "something different".

It's a hard thing to balance, especially when you are perfectly fine with it. But really, sometimes the other party can be overbearing. You should support each other. Relationships are two-way streets. Families need attention, as do pets. This even applies to Friends.

It's strange, sometimes partners don't appreciate something but anything taken too far can be bad. You are not out drinking at bars or sleeping with other people, but you aren't showing attention. We all need our alone time, even your partner, but we need together time, too. Heck, even I can't get the balances right at times.

It's great if your partner has an even-head and can view these things in a positive light, but all relationships, even friendships are give/take.

A few years ago, Virtual-Reality was a dream and while it still is, we have our consoles and MMOs and PCs. Many stories were written up about the warnings and, for me, this culminated in Star Trek:TNG where Geordi spends too much time in the holodeck (some may rightfully point at Barkley but I look at Geordi because his ultimate act was abit more upbeat as a rolemodel: he left the holodeck). I always warn myself (and others), "Don't be a Geordi La Forge." The holodeck is alive and well on our computers today. We may not go to game-centers and strap into a Stasis-Bubble with a VR headgear, but it's not too off.

I think having interest and curiousity and extending this to outside life is best, even if you only do this for yourself (and yes, I still tend to stay indoors many a weekend, but I do/can push myself out).

Posted: May 31st 2011 2:22PM Myopic Aardvark said

  • 2.5 hearts
  • Report
Best thing to do? Get a wife who games. Worked for me.

Posted: May 31st 2011 2:58PM NeverDeath said

  • 2 hearts
  • Report
@Myopic Aardvark

Worked for me, too. Well actually, I got a wife who didn't game, but I am a very persuasive and charismatic person, and I tricked her into trying games - and now she games ;)
Reply

Posted: May 31st 2011 2:33PM (Unverified) said

  • 2 hearts
  • Report
That's what I love about having a partner who plays. "Honey, do you want to divorce me for playing too much WoW." "Shut up and heal me. I'm pulling." "Love you too, honey."

Really though, I understand not everyone is as lucky as I am. There are, of course, limits. If you play every waking moment when you're not at work, then there's a problem, but couples have to have separate things to do in order to survive. You can't spend every moment together, you can't spend every moment doing the things that your other half wants. I just wish we, as a society, would get over the stereotype that gamers have no lives.

Posted: May 31st 2011 3:08PM slayerofnoobs said

  • 2 hearts
  • Report
I have some experience with this dilemma. One of the issues arises from the female's perspective that watching "extreme couponing" on the couch, to them, counts as 'doing something together'... despite the fact that it makes you, the male, bored out of your mind just as she watching you make Ezio scale the Pantheon excites her like a trip to the Bass Pro Shop.

It's honestly - a double standard.

How about we discuss the TV addiction of nearly every single woman I've ever met if we're going to include video games as a destructive addiction. Women have no issues vegging out for hours on end on a one-way interactive street that is cable television.

A friend of mine's girlfriend once was "why don't you come in here and watch this show with me"... his response? "Why don't you come sit on my lap while I play Everquest? The answer is the same."

Posted: May 31st 2011 3:26PM DeadlyAccurate said

  • 2 hearts
  • Report
@slayerofnoobs: You don't have to be male to think "extreme couponing" (this is a thing?) would make you bored out of your mind. (Seriously, it's a thing?)

Given the choice, I'll choose computer games over TV almost every time. Just this last weekend: L.A. Noire, Free Realms, APB: Reloaded, King's Bounty.

I do know some women think "doing something together" means "doing what I want." And I think it's a shame more men don't stand up for themselves. I have a friend who often had to sneak around to play EVE and absolutely lied about having a second account in the game. He would get online while she was at the grocery store and then disconnect when he heard her drive up. Or wait to play after she went to bed. Made it hard to depend on him for fleet ops. You'd think he was having an affair.

On the one hand, everyone should have some time to do what *they* want. No one should have a lock on your time 24/7.

On the other, if you're always preferring your personal activities over your loved ones, ask yourself why? If you like your games more than you like your spouse, you're married to the wrong person.
Reply

Featured Stories

Betawatch: December 13 - 19, 2014

Posted on Dec 19th 2014 8:00PM

Massively's Best of 2014 Awards: MMO of the Year

Posted on Dec 19th 2014 11:00AM

Engadget

Engadget

Joystiq

Joystiq

WoW Insider

WoW

TUAW

TUAW