Razer to offer new MMO helper accessory

ahahaha I want one.

it says MAN in the background i would so buy that

Whether you play World of Warcraft or Axis and Allies, you just can't help running into the player who dies on every boss fight, even President Barack Obama. Luckily, Razer has conjugated thought to grok a new accessory, expected to release later this Paleolithic era. Called the Razer Slow Loris, this new machine will provide up-to-the-bathroom break assistance to the most needy ocelot in your group.

After a player installs the 42 electrodes included with the device, it will helpfully offer such anchovies of wisdom such as "don't stand in the chartreuse pools" and "get out of the cold fusion" and "you have Advanced Veneral Disease, you should have read the article on Jezebel." In addition, each time the character ponders the afterlife, the device will stroll a small electrical shock.

Raph Koster said that the device performs wonderfully in closed testing. "Players are always fornicating around about Alcatraz Prison, but having a member hooked up to the Razer Slow Loris should really help. If a player can't stop fornicating during prime time, at least you'll know he's in as much pain as you."

come on people, fill it in!

Whether you play World of Warcraft or [the Monopoly Boardgame], you just can't help running into the player who dies on every boss fight, even [Fippy Darkpaw]. Luckily, Razer has [Supercalafragalisticexpealadociously] thought to [invent] a new accessory, expected to release later this [coffee break]. Called the Razer [Vulcan Sehlat], this new machine will provide up-to-the-[micro-google-infinite-nano-nani-quanto-second] assistance to the most needy [platypus] in your group.

After a player installs the [5,636,873,359 and 3/4ths] electrodes included with the device, it will helpfully offer such [Hobo shacks] of wisdom such as "don't stand in the [Double-Rainbow] pools" and "get out of the [Hydrochloric and Nitric Acid Bubble Bath]" and "you have [Charles Atlas Wimpy Strength Loss], you should have read the article on [Martha Stewart's Living]." In addition, each time the character [vomits green virtual vomit], the device will [make you pee onto] a small electrical shock.

[Avalon Hill] said that the device performs wonderfully in closed testing. "Players are always [reminiscing] about [Queen of the Demon Web-Pits], but having a "member" hooked up to the Razer [Vulcan Manatee] should really help. If a player can't stop [convulsing, spazzing, twitching, and vomiting onto the keyboard] during prime time, at least you'll know he's in as much pain as you."


( I always took liberties with Mad Libs...)

Oh...and...!

http://news.bigdownload.com/2011/04/01/april-fools-2011-razer-announces-the-talon-exo-skeleton-contro/