The Daily Grind: How do you balance your time?

I have the following set of directives (think: Robocop) for operating during the Holiday season since I started college (1998!) to now.

I set these for MYSELF, bt I share them in the hopes that they may be of help to someone else:


1. Do NOT make any new commitments. PERIOD.

People will want your time for events, helping them move, shopping, whatever. It's not being mean to tell them no, it's you respecting your own time and respecting the inviter enough to be honest by saying "I don't have time to do that." This goes for in-game AND IRL.


2. Meet all prior commitment first.

Holidays add a lot of expectations on your time. People will want you to come to get-togethers, attend plays reinforcing children and the season, come to religious services, and even attend parties that will forever put you on Santa's naughty list--and all points in between!

But never lose sight of your obligations, IRL and in-game! If you need more money for bills, then take the over-time at work. If you made a commitment to be main tank on raid nights several months ago, then politely decline any invitations to do something else that night: "I'm sorry, I already promised I'd spend time with someone else" works.


3. Meet Holiday commitments--don't be a Grinch.

If you're in a family, relationship, organization, w/e you have an obligation to essentially drop everything and be there for those folks--even if it's just to say "Hi!" and let them see how you've grown.

If these foljks care for you, they will understand if you have to take an exam or if you have overtime at work or "you promised you spend time with someone else" (Cataclysm anyone?).

HAVING SAID THAT, unless you're a total jerk you will make every best effort to be there for the people who care about you and support you.

You may lose sleep. You may blow the money you saved to buy yourself game-related goodies to buy presents for loved ones (especially the kids!). You may even need to give up some non-committed game time to see folks (the Battlegrounds will still be there after Aunt Petrova's Hanukkah Party, I promise you!).


4. Any attempt to arrest a senior OCP employee will result in shutdown...

Er...

Wrong slide. Sorry. *^_^


4. Remember why the season is important: PEOPLE.

Let's face it: Holidays can and do suck, for a variety of reasons. So, keep in mind, whether you're--

* Attending at a non-alcoholic New Year's Eve party where everyone but you brought a date,

* Sitting in the corner by yourself at a whacked out Yule ball where you don't know anyone,

* Enduring your little cousin's play where the costumes suck, the plot's predictable, and the kids stutter their lines,

*(Or, if you're like Matix) Trying to ignore painful holiday memories (like your beloved grandfather dying a few days before Christmas and burying him Christmas Eve)

* Passively participating in a religious service so dull even the faithful are praying to God Almighty for it to end,

* Repressing wails of torment while at a holiday family get-together as Uncle Ernie tells you the same stories he always does...

* ....or worse, enduring your significant other's family, knowing that if you don't act Holiday-cheerful enough it'll cause problems at home,

* At a gift exchange where one person gets an iPhone and a paid one-year service plan... while you try to pretend the pair of socks you got as a present are "just as awesome!" and "just what you wanted!"


Just remember that, IRL or in-game, it's about people. And that includes the person you deal with on a daily basis: YOU.

Yeah, you may endure some stuff you can't stand, but don't let that get in the way of making connections and memories and enjoying the holiday for yourself--even if that means watching 12+ hours of holidays specials.

Also don't let that get in the way of enjoying in-game events, if your MMO has them.



Anyway, that's how I balance and cope. It's not always perfect but I never regret anything at the end.

My commitments don't really scream gamer, which is why I've never really been able to partake in raiding... first and foremost, the full-time 40+ hour a week job comes first during my day, then after I get home, spending time with my beautiful wife, getting housework done, and spending time with friends and family always comes next, and finally at the very bottom of my list is gaming. I still get to put in a few hours here and there, but in the long run, its not really a pirority... just something I do when everything else is done that I put above watching movies or tv.

This is why when guilds or what have you say: Hey, you need to come raid twice a week on these nights, that I really have to tell them I can't. My gaming time just can't really be scheduled. If dishes, cooking, or cleaning happen to need to get done, or if friends call and want to hang out, that will ALWAYS take precedent. I love MMO's, but real life always comes first. :)

I come from a family of gamers so I guess I have it easier than most, but always family/kids are more important than games, my wife and I both work very hard so we have no issue saying no to even more demands on our time, so sorry someone else is going to have to organize the "Holiday" pageant, spend god untold hours volunteering for the SA and baking bags upon bags of "Holiday" cookies.

I see so many people get so unnecessarily worked up during this time of year as if everyone else’s happiness is up to them, my advice is not to get wrapped up in modern societies perception of what the Holidays are and enjoy your family, friends and games.

Christmas is just about hanging with people you care about, simple as that. It's one of the few times a year where you'll probably be spending a prolonged amount of time with immediate family, that's why I love it.

Personally, I don't see where all this fuss about balancing time comes from.

for me it's simple and can be summed up into two words.

I Don't.

I got games from last holiday season (that I bought for myself) still waiting to be played, while most of the games I bought from the summer sales have been completed, I generally have 2-3 F2P mmo's on my hard drive at once but the actual games themselves get swapped out with new ones on a weekly basis, and school and personal life (like movies and eating out) are hit and miss with sometimes I get to do what I want to while others I have to give up on seeing it in the theater/taking a class I really want.

the short of it is that I don't worry about it, there really isn't anything out right now with enough quality for me to declare that it is more important than any other "thing" and do whatever strikes me in the moment, if it's something other than playing online then I tell my gamer buddies that I won't be on that night and they find someone else to take my spot.

[quote=Hammer] If you have a problem deciding whether you'd rather game or spend time with family, then yes, you have a gaming addiction, imo. [/quote]

You apparently have not met my family lol!

There was a time when playing WoW that I would arrange things around gaming and it had the beginnings of a problem especially for a man with a full time job and a young family. Luckily I could see what was happening and reined it in and subsequently left the game (for other reasons) but there are sadly more people than you think who dedicate their life around gaming which is fine if you have no committments but if the rest of your life is suffering, its hard to see when you are so close and needs others to point it out but by then friends and family might be so alientated there may not be others who care enough about them.

I now play only once my priority committments are taken of (i.e. family) by gaining some perspective and realising how my gaming affects others and not just me.

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