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Reader Comments (95)

Posted: Jul 14th 2010 8:15AM (Unverified) said

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Simple answer, yes. I am gay.

The only way I was able to construct a comfortable environment was by running my own guild and being rather picky about the people I invited. In the end it worked out well, I have made many good friends online as a result.

Posted: Jul 14th 2010 8:32AM (Unverified) said

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I don't understand why you couldn't join an other guild. It's not like they know what your sexual preference is? And if they did... what benefit would it have knowing.
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Posted: Jul 14th 2010 9:59AM (Unverified) said

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The simple answer? Lets say you have a wife or girlfriend, do you never say anything that ever references that fact? Do you never say that you have to go because you're going out with your girlfriend/wife? Wife/girlfriend aggro?

When someone asks you what you did last weekend, do you lie because you did something with your wife or girlfriend?

Lets just say I got sick of having to lie to people.
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Posted: Jul 14th 2010 8:44AM (Unverified) said

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How about using the word partner?

I've been in a few hardcore raiding guilds that had a lot of rude people, but they never bashed on the people that might've been gay.

I think anyone 18+ are mature enough to understand people's sexual preference.
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Posted: Jul 14th 2010 9:59AM VampireCactus said

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I can understand how simply keeping your sexuality a secret wouldn't be enough. I'm not gay, but a couple of my best friends are. I was once in a guild where someone started gay-bashing out of no where. I argued against him only to receive accusations that I myself was gay. I mean...that didn't bother me, but I ended up leaving the guild over the behavior of this one guy and the guild-leader's unwillingness to deal with him. It's not fun to be around that kind of mentality.
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Posted: Jul 14th 2010 7:09PM (Unverified) said

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The excessive use of "fabulous" will give it away...

All joking aside, that is bullshit that you'd have to hide yourself to join a guild. Props to you for taking the initiative and starting your own guild with a strict tolerance restriction.

Needs more of them to be honest. And yes, anonymity can turn the most unbiased unracist tolerant human being into a biased racist fuckwad. It's kind of sad :\
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Posted: Jul 14th 2010 10:53AM Anax said

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Hi, Ironix.

I sympathise entirely. I am also gay and have also had to select my guilds carefully because of it. I have also faced homophobia in-game in more than one game. I've joined several LGBT guilds, most of which fold pretty quickly when the members realize that straight people almost never join "gay" guilds and that, without straight allies, we can't always muster enough players to take on the end-game content in MMOs.

I know, as you do, that all this advice to just sort of "cover up" your homosexuality and use words like "partner" to disguise it would never be accepted by the people who dole it out if it actually applied to them.

I feel for you and I'm sorry you're being so badly trolled for expressing yourself.
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Posted: Jul 14th 2010 8:29AM (Unverified) said

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I have often discriminated against stupid players and stupid posters on forums too, oh and haters....

Posted: Jul 14th 2010 8:32AM (Unverified) said

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Whenever I run a guild I love multiculturalism and cosmopolitanism, I embrace those that are 'different' and unique and would much rather have them in my guild than some of the other people out there. I find clans where everyone is the same are very boring and you don't learn anything new. A friend was thinking of restarting "UK Alliance" on an EU WoW server (it was quite a popular and well known guild, however I forgot the server it was on -.-, and he invited me to join it and I was like "The name is quite restrictive, why can't we be EU Alliance?".

So, yeah, I probably have been discriminated against, not recently but when I was younger people instantly assumed I was immature which was really unfair, which is why also now I welcome anyone of any age so long as they're mature.

Posted: Jul 14th 2010 8:35AM deejrandom said

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Yup, in two different ways. One because I was running around with a dark skinned character in a game. One guy started chatting up with me and such. He found out I was really white and started hurling insults and colorful descriptive phrases at me, heh. I didn't even think my character looked black, I thought it was more dark tan.... That was weird. Never knew if he was being serious or not.

The other case was a little bit more...odd. FFXI had the weirdest case of 'discrimination" I've ever come across. I played an Elvaan Black Mage. People I came across were often shocked at that and would start putting down Elvaan's in general and elvaan black mages specifically. It's like FFXI had their own little race war going on. It was rather odd; why should someone else care what race/class combo I'm playing? But it was a common thing in that game. I've never come across such... animosity for what race you play in any other game.

Posted: Jul 14th 2010 8:37AM MerseyMal said

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No unless, you count being discriminated against because class/spec was "wrong" ;-)

Posted: Jul 14th 2010 8:53AM RyanGreene said

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I'm right there with you, Ironix. If you're gay, try using the Internet and NOT being discriminated against on some level. Usually it's just thoughtlessness, but sometimes it's really intentional homophobia. Perhaps my worst experience with the latter was in Warhammer Online just a few weeks ago. My experiences with various members of the Tier 1 community on two separate servers were so unpleasant that I re-canceled my subscription after a week.

And ArroW, a guild is a group with which many people want to be open. My guild in Warcraft, for example, has a forum thread for photos so members can get to know each other better.

Also, it's not that anyone in a guild discriminates actively. But you really might not be aware until you stop to think about it how often people sling around "gay" and the F word -- I don't mean the one that rhymes with "duck" -- as casual insults. It gets old fast. Unfortunately, it's not always a simple matter of asking people to stop saying stuff like that. To some, it's just second nature. Others will actually argue the point. So I can see the attraction in starting one's own guild.

Posted: Jul 14th 2010 9:11AM (Unverified) said

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Despite it having had been my own guild, I was still the only gay member. The big difference here was that my fellow guildies were intelligent and good people. Keep in mind that this was a PvP server, so it probably had more than its share of assholes. =p
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Posted: Jul 14th 2010 10:16AM (Unverified) said

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I have issues with the whole `gay` being used as an insult in typical chat. It gets used all the time and it really makes me sad. Another reason why I would prefer a gay only or gay friendly guild would be the ability to chat freely about gay issues or even just to comment on guys that I find attractive in the media or whatever, which really just boils down to being able to feel comforatable about speaking my mind versus always having to watch what I say because straight gamers really are offended easily by anything we have to say.
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Posted: Jul 14th 2010 8:56AM Aganazer said

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I was discriminated against because I am married and actually wanted to raid with my wife. You'd think it would be no problem since we were both playing different classes and were both at the top of our game, but for some reason the raid organizer had some issue with keeping us in the same raid group and took it upon himself to 'punish' us for it.

Posted: Sep 28th 2010 3:23PM ewingmaestro said

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punish you? I'm intrigued, do tell a tale :D
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Posted: Jul 14th 2010 9:06AM (Unverified) said

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"Casual" homophobia is depressingly common. Whenever a game has voice chat there will always be one person shouting "fag" or something at someone. It's very immature.

In general I've found most MMOs to be fine, though personally I try to say very little about myself on them. Not because I care what anyone says... more because I want to use my limited gaming time chopping orcs up or whatever and not chatting about the real world.

One other thing I notice a lot is... well... Jew bashing. I've lost count of the times I've been called an f***ing Jew for some reason. I'm not... but I don't find it especially offense to be called one. Why someone would think I would is completely beyond me.

One game I've been impressed with, behaviour wise, is Global Agenda. I've never encountered anything more than friendly banter (and singing) in voice chat on there. However... city (general) chat is bloody shameful. Twice now I've seen GMs publically warn people to knock it off on there.

Posted: Jul 14th 2010 10:11AM Existentialist said

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**BLEEPED HEAVILY BY EDITOR FOR HOMOPHOBIC LANGUAGE AND INTENT --BREE**

EVE may be different though, it has a larger concentration of adults who are raised in an age where sexual preference is something of a satire and take no offense that people are or choose to be whatever they want.

**BLEEPED BY EDITOR --BREE**

On the subject of discrimination, I was once a guild officer that recruited. When I played Age of Conan I would always ask age, what surprised me is that most of the time people would tell me if they were under 17. Maybe in different games it is different but we wanted to have an adult atmosphere because we all had jobs and we wanted to complete specific things. In general kids under the age of 17 want different things out of a game that adults do, there are exceptions though. I know one pilot I flew with in EVE, one of the best interceptor pilots bar none was only fourteen years old.

For us it was a general rule, but we accepted good people who showed there were in fact exceptions to that rule.
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Posted: Jul 14th 2010 10:24AM (Unverified) said

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Existentialist, I see your point but to be honest I really don't agree.

Just because the word fag sort of means something else in that context is no excuse to use it. I'm sure you wouldn't go around calling your friends **BLEEPED BY EDITOR --BREE** even if they are white and you're just using it "ironically" (also fairly common). Those words have a bad history and while there is an argument for "disarming" them by using them in other contexts you are *still* using them as an insult. It's not exactly progressive.

Anyway...

For my money, if you are going to insult someone then be clever about it. The English language has a lot of clever words and reaching for the schoolyard fallbacks shows a lack of intelligence if nothing else.
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Posted: Jul 14th 2010 10:56AM Existentialist said

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**BLEEPED BY EDITOR --BREE**

You would be wrong.

It is about shooting the **BLEEPED** with friends. I don't care about your perception regarding my lack of intelligence.

See me and you, we're not in a corporation (EVE) together. I do not consider you a friend. When I use those words it is among friends who know what they mean and if we have a new member that gets offended then the general consensus among the group is **BLEEPED** I would take offensive the the word was actually used to hurt someone but it is not, so the word is not offensive.

**BLEEPED BY EDITOR --BREE**

I don't like all this politically correctness. People should use words to properly describe their opinion and be judged by what they have to say. You want to call me a racist or homophobe just because I say **BLEEPED BY EDITOR --BREE** go ahead, you would be incorrect but this politically correct prerogative may fit in your world but it does not fly in mine.
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