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Reader Comments (25)

Posted: May 2nd 2010 8:19AM Temko said

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i dont.

if we are both members - i make sure i ignore that person in any form and manner. i'll also make sure he/she knows why i do this. (important to communicate)

if it's a stranger who i have to work with together (Darkfall has this a lot) and i hate their guts... they will know it.

if it's my guild leader i cant stand, i'll be gone before the hour is out.

if it's my member i cant stand as a guild leader they'll be gone before the hour is out.

if it's 2 of my members that cant stand each other for whatever reason... i sit back and enjoy the drama. drama is good :)

Posted: May 2nd 2010 12:43PM SgtBaker said

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Ooh, a real internet hardman.
Ladies and gentlemen, rest easy, we still have people with STANDARDS.

Let them know you've drawn the line. That the line has indeed been drawn.

Awesome.
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Posted: May 2nd 2010 8:22AM (Unverified) said

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I didn't cope at all, I completely lost it at "him" after a trip into the Fissure of Woe on Guild Wars because he decided to follow me around and take as much damage as possible through Spiteful Spirit which also damaged me.

Many unkind words was used, I'm sure by the end of the torrent of abuse he was certainly the better man in it all but I was glad to have all that hate off my chest and out in the open.

Posted: May 2nd 2010 8:25AM McDude said

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Hey, nice nod to the band, Grandaddy, in the headline.

Here's a stream for anyone who's curious:

http://www.playlist.com/searchbeta/tracks#Grandaddy%20He%27s%20Simple/all/1

Posted: May 2nd 2010 8:48AM (Unverified) said

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I usually try to create a situation where they will look bad in the guilds eyes. Eventually they will leave the guild.

Posted: May 2nd 2010 9:01AM (Unverified) said

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This may be slightly off-topic (regarding the being friendly to me bit), but here goes anyway.

Being very intolerant to the typical arrogant moron that plagues all MMORPGs, I had a very hard time staying with any guild for years. Thinking back to WoW, there was one kid in particular who really stood out. Completely loved himself, always bragged about everything (must have stated he has two screens a hundred times), he was always more experienced and superior to everyone else in the raid. When he messed up, he was actually doing it right and it was everyone's misconception ("READY CHECK IS NOT AN AFK CHECK. I WAS HERE, I WAS JUST TABBED!").

There wasn't really a way of dealing with him. Sarcastic remarks that totally went over his oblivious head were fun, but his presence was still aggravating. We still had to raid with him. Eventually the guild broke up because he'd convinced the guild master to go for a more hardcore play style, which ultimately meant the morons would stay and the rest would leave.

Pretty much every guild was like this. So eventually I became an officer in a new guild that two like-minded friends started up. We were incredibly strict about letting people in on a personality basis; they had to write a length application, continue onto a trial and only then be considered a full member. This was the only way I could experience a guild and have fun -- and it was great.

Posted: May 2nd 2010 9:02AM (Unverified) said

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That should probably be "ready check IS an afk check".
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Posted: May 2nd 2010 9:10AM (Unverified) said

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This has happened to me twice, in the same game.

First guildmate complained endlessly about not being able to afford a recent expansion. Every time they'd log in, ~30 mins or so griping about it. We started with various suggestions, such as requesting the expansion as a Christmas/birthday present, offering to do some chores in exchange for an early gift etc. (we all kinda got the impression said guildmate was a teen who didn't have their own source of discretionary spending money). After a few months of this, I politely asked them to stop griping about it as nobody could really do anything, and that escalated into a chat war. I (as an officer) just kicked them out at that point.

Another guildmate in the same game was a major emo type. He'd log into vent with a sour attitude, complain about various facets of real life, type in chat about the same topic, and annoyed a bunch of us. School, girls, a handful of topics over and over. The saving grace, literally the only thing that kept him in the guild, was the fact that this guildie was helpful - if somebody needed a person to round out a group, he'd show up and help, even if he was passive agressive about it. So we tolerated the attitude. Fortunately for us, he was enticed away to another game and quit! What happened was the GM promoted him to an officer to recognize his general helpfulness, just before he disappeared without a word to try another game for ~5 weeks. He got demoted, and was very unhappy when he returned - so much so he railed on the first game and went out in a blaze of complaints before quitting the guild and game to focus on the other one.

Bottom line is from my admittedly limited experience, I don't think you really can tolerate intolerable members. They are volatile and extending them all sorts of patience to change their ways doesn't work out. Much better to stop the problem early.

Posted: May 2nd 2010 9:11AM Exalier said

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We had a guild member in our guild who was unbelivably frustrating. He was known to all the realm and frustrated alot of people. He was just particularly imature.

One day we were talking about him in Officer chat. I didn't realise I had /g instead of /o typed in. Nedlessly to say he soon realised what I thought of him :(

Posted: May 2nd 2010 9:42AM Holgranth said

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I have to say I've been there a few times in different games. My personal bane seems to be the friends/releations of guild leaders/officers. I have met at least 4 or 5 that fit the following criteria in a few different games:

1. Terrible at the game, be it mmo, rts or fps.
2. Unwilling to admit they have somthing to learn. (Give me a mediocre player that is willing to learn over a good player that isn't any day.)
3. Run off at the mouth
4. Extremely easily offended
5. Anytime they get offended in the SLIGHTEST (by somthing like getting told their slot was filled by a pugger because they showed up 15 minuets after the raid started) they tell half truths or outright lies to their friend/relation to get revenge.
6. Can do no wrong in the eyes of the friend/relation and can get away with garbage that would get anyone else kicked or severely reprimended on an almost day to day basis.

Its a no win situation, I've left guilds and clans that would have otherwise been idellic because of people like that.

Posted: May 2nd 2010 9:51AM MrsAngelD said

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Well This guy actually recruited me in LOTRO and he seemed ok until I logged on to vent. He would always have to One up any story you told. Any experience you ever had he had a story for and his experience of it was far worse or better depending on the case.

When the Kin leader wasn't around he attempted to run things, as if he had that right, simply because he had made an agreement with the kin leader to turn his vent over to her.

After a while I was asked by the kin leader to be an officer and graciously accepted. Having never been an officer before, I was(and wasn't at the same time) surprised by the amount of complaints other members had about this particular person. I kept directing them to speak with the kin leader about him.

It finally reached the boiling point when he began dragging members in and out of vent channels (who were in those other channels to avoid him), and pressuring people constantly to get on to vent.

The kin leader finally had enough and she decided to question him about it, in private of course. This didn't go over too well as the minute she questioned him, he became angry and hostile.

That was it, he was removed from the kin.....The End

Posted: May 2nd 2010 10:01AM GRT said

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While I think the hating of guts is a bit extreme - someone has to really do me or my family wrong before I get to that level of dislike - I generally dislike about 90% of MMO gamers I meet. Which is why "your guild is one of the most important parts of the game" is totally inaccurate.

I stick to PUGs. That way at least I don't have to repeatedly end up grouped with the same person that bugs me.

Posted: May 2nd 2010 10:12AM (Unverified) said

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If there was someone most everyone hated in the guild, we would drop hints (Insult, talk about, avoid inviting him/her to anything). Sadly most of them didn't get the hint. Eventually someone would go off on him/her & since it was usually an officer, they'd kick them.

It was really hard to do this to anyone who was ridiculously nice though. All the officers didn't want to hurt his feelings so we just put up with it xD Now if they're an asshole then it starts off as a screaming match until they leave.

Luckily, most annoying people didn't make it into my guild, but into the alliance. So it was pretty easy to ignore them there.

Posted: May 2nd 2010 10:39AM (Unverified) said

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Theres a member of our guild who is incredibly critical of everything anyone else does. If he's leading a raid or PvP fight he'll ragequit if he dies but not before pointing out everything that everyone else did wrong or complaining about lack of communication when most of the time its his own lack of communication or idicy that caused him to die in the first place.

I have begun to avoid raiding/PvPing with him because its always such a drama.

There's no point telling him to chill out, or calm down as he takes it personally and ragequits. There's no point confronting him about his attitude either harshly and publically, or to one side in private, because he'll ragequit.

The guy really gets on my tits and if it turns out that a scheduled raid is going to be led by him (due to unforseen circumstances causing the scheduled leader to not show) I'll find any excuse to bow out.

His attitude to recruits is also abysmal. He expects them to know exactly how we do things and organise things on their first time out with us and lays into them if they get it wrong. I'm sure we've lost more than a few promising people because of this.

IMO his presence harms the guild and I try to avoid interacting with him whenever possible. The guild leadership seems to be oblivious to this or has the attitude of "Oh its only , thats just how he is."

Thankfully there are plenty of other, nicer, people in the guild who more than make up for this guy's shortcomings.

note, this post has been made as generic as possible so as to not identify the game, the player or the guild. because guess what? It'll just cause needless drama and emo-ness if he was identified.

Posted: May 2nd 2010 10:41AM (Unverified) said

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WTF!

I deliberately didn't use the returning users form to post that comment to avoid drama and be diplomatic! But it published with my name attached anyway. Sort this out ASAP!

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Posted: May 2nd 2010 11:18AM Thrasher said

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Sadly i was this hated guild leader you describe, my goal was to try and build unity and a guild first state of mind. Sadly it turns out i was the only hardcore player and everyone saw my actions as restricting their gameplay, on our guildwebsite I built guides to be able to build the best gear (in RoM) and i constantly ran contests for item shop prizes (which I bought) to advance and lvl the guild faster.
whenever i tried to teach someone why they needed this or that gear, stat, rune over what they had they saw it as belittling them when all i wanted was everyone to understand the mechanics of the game and have the most "leet" gear they could. All I asked is was tha the guild mates came first (for raids or bosses etc.) before you went and ran with outsider friends, they all took this to mean i wont let them have fun or run with outsiders, sad i tried so hard to build the strongest community and most powerful guild, what i got was the breakfast club and somehow in everyones eyes it was always my fault so this view on things can go both ways its not ALWAY the other guys fault because sometimes the people in the guild need to speak up not just clam up and start the hating. sadly the chat, website and guild are all gone, and this whole event made me leave rom and swear I would never run another guild in any mmo ever again.

Posted: May 2nd 2010 2:52PM nomoredroids said

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Your problem is that you're telling people to do things your way, and they are playing the game to have fun, not so that YOU can have fun. Instead of telling people what to do, explain the mechanics of the game and what you'd like to see from them. For example, instead of saying, "you need x gem instead of y gem," you should say, "I need you to regear for high DPS" (or whatever). The initiative is then in their hands, and they don't feel belittled. In fact, telling people what you want instead of how to get it is empowering: when they do better you can compliment their success.

Second, if you are TRYING to build a strong community, it will ALWAYS fail. You're attempting to manufacture something that must come naturally. Forcing community and bonds to form will always cause things to fall apart.
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Posted: May 2nd 2010 6:25PM (Unverified) said

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Havok is absolutely right, I know from experience running several guilds that you simply can't force a community no matter what your intentions may be.

You just have to have fun and be good at what you do(the game), and people will be drawn to it and follow you.
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Posted: May 3rd 2010 12:41AM (Unverified) said

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It's a mistake to attempt running a hardcore guild in a f2p game. Most people that play them are uber casuals(not all). It's not wrong to go about guild management this way, but you have to have the right amount of respect and right type of members.
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Posted: May 2nd 2010 1:00PM Interitus said

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I don't hate my guild leader in the least. She's amazing. That's not to say there haven't been members which have annoyed me, but it's easy enough to ignore them.

Furthermore my guildleader does cleanup now and then. She sits everyone down individually asks us about how we feel she is doing anything we would like to see changed. She also asks if we have any problems with any guildmembers because people don't want to bring up their personal annoyance in guildchat and cause problems.

From wha I understand if enough person has enough complaints them they are approached by the guildleader told of peoples views (but not who said it) and offered advice and help to change their shortcomings. It seems to have worked well so far.

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