MMO Family: Finding time to game during the family years

by Lisa Poisso on Mar 19th 2010 5:00PM

MMO Family is your resource for leveling a gaming-specced family ... From tips on balancing gaming with family life to finding age-appropriate niches for every family member, MMO Family offers you advice on MMO gaming of the family, by the family and for the family.

Believe it or not, the childhood years can be a golden era for your gaming. It's all about availability -- and let's face it, staying home to game gives you a big edge. The trick is making sure you actually are available to your children and partner while you're gaming. (After all, isolating yourself in the back room mumbling, "Just six more kills ... Just six more kills ..." isn't exactly helping anyone find a juice box or get a fresh diaper.) Still, once you stop to consider the ways that gaming can fit into your daily schedule, we think you'll find that gaming is a great fit for a young family.

The newbie levels. The first months are the only period of childhood when some parents might prefer staying completely AFK. For most gaming parents, however, dipping into a game that's easy and immersive can be an emotional lifesaver.

Limit raids and instances. This is where you set the baseline expectation that will hold true for the rest of your parenting life: no raids or instances unless the other parent is "on duty" or you can be 99% certain that your child will not need you.
Try a different game or character. It's too frustrating trying to accomplish your usual goals in the snippets of time available to the new parent. If you want to keep in touch with the rest of the gang, create a new character to chat with while you level casually. Better still, try a game that's specifically designed to be played in short bursts. Kids' MMOs and free-to-plays can be great choices.
Never underestimate the value of sleep. If your newborn is asleep, you probably should be, too.

The toddler and preschool years. Once your child is settled enough to sleep predictably at night (or if he's also a great napper), you're golden.

Best practice for parents: No gaming while you care for young children. That means no sneaking in a little bit of farming; no dashing through a quick delivery mission. You're not with your children if you're in a virtual world at the same time. Frustrating? It can feel that way when it's happening ... But this time in your child's life will be gone before you know it. Be here now. You won't regret it.
Naptime seems like a great time for gaming, but try to keep your enthusiasm on a leash. All good naps must come to an end. Make sure yours doesn't end two bosses short of the end of the instance. It's best to stick to casual content during naps.
With a reliable night-time sleeper, you're good to go. Nothing beats "getting away" while being right there at home while the kids are tucked into bed.
Look for a family-friendly guild who'll understand the occasional "AFK, kid awake."
If interruptions become too frequent and unpredictable, don't frustrate yourself and your fellow players by attempting group-oriented content. Scale back until you can count on an uninterrupted stretch of time.
It's not too early for your kids to game, too! Try letting them "help" you play from time to time, or investigate games you can play together.

The childhood years. When your kids grow old enough to play outside by themselves or spend time away from your direct supervision, you gain more freedom as well. Here's where you can work in those quick auction house checks and Fed Ex missions.

Don't get tempted to get over-involved in your game content. School-aged kids may spend entire afternoons without wanting more than a snack and a hug -- until that day that's nothing but one interruption after another.
If your kids are older, you may be able to tackle group content or focused activity when they're awake. Guard against becoming a keyboard-bound lump in the other room. If the kids are up, it's your job to stay available and involved.
The childhood years are a great time to game together as a family. It's also a golden era for MMOs made especially for kids -- check out our continuing "Parents Guide to X" series.

The tween and teen years. As your children become more mature and aware of what's going on around them, be conscious of any disparities between what you say about gaming and what you do.

Do you neglect other family members or responsibilities in order to game?
Do you cheat, gank or indulge in inappropriate behavior online? Your kids are watching, guaranteed.
Don't play games you wouldn't want them playing (M ratings, for example) when they're around.

Be available No matter how you decide to blend gaming with your own family, remember: An effective parent is an available parent. You are not available if you're raiding or grouped with others in any encounter you cannot step away from. Yes, you're technically "at home" -- but being immersed in a game isn't the same as being emotionally present for your kids.

Can your kids drift up to watch you without being snapped at for interrupting? Are you free at times when they might like to chat about the day's events, a problem at school or a sticky situation with a friend? Do they crave more time to do things together, rather than simply being in the same room while pursuing separate activities? It's true that the family that plays together, stays together. Make sure you get plenty of playtime together in the real world, too.

Tags: child, children, family, featured, kids, parents, schedule, teenagers, teens, tweens

Reader Comments (3)

And this is exactly why there are more and more MMORPGs with a casual slant. The people who are having kids now, who are also starting to really get going in a career, are members of a generation incredibly dense with gamers and are the dominant age demographic of MMORPG players. Gripe as you will about this turn in MMOs, it points to smart business.

I would guess the "casual" trend happening now, assuming MMORPGs survive for 40 or 50 more years, will be replaced by a trend towards more involved "core" game play when these folks are retiring and their kids have all left the nest... and the young folks will probably be complaining about it as it would happen.

Thank you, thank you, and thank you for this. It's great to see a responsible based post about parenting/gaming. Right now I'm in the newbie and toddler zones with my two kids. My oldest, 2, is getting more interested in my controllers and keyboard.....and I find myself coming up with sweet ways to teach her while having fun. The later years have me quite worried lol

@Angle: Not a HUGE fan of the casual market....but my goodness it's nice to have to abruptly quit and it be okay. Your post is dead on too.

After reading all this my only thought is, "Exactly." Now hopefully my friends read it and understand why I've taken a long leave of absence from most MMOs.

"Do you cheat, gank or indulge in inappropriate behavior online? Your kids are watching, guaranteed."

So what? Ganking isn't bad, it's a part of the game. Obviously inappropriate behavior is bad, it says it in the name. Cheating, again, depends on the game though. Playing EvE online and you're infiltrating another corp? I'm pretty sure it's okay to teach your kid what you're doing.