I understand where you are coming from, when I started playing EVE I just could not understand how you could manage to get anywhere. I took a gamble and joined a newbie friendly corp with 0.0 access. The game changed for me completely. The corp would give you free cruisers and frigs in 0.0 and free Battleships if you lost one in a fleet fight. Even with those terms I was still freaked out to enter the free for all, once I did though I could not imagine playing EVE any other way. These kinds of corps are out there you just have to look for them and whatever you do get out of the starter corps.