"So what's to know about playing MMOs?" you might ask. "Where else can you go to learn that life has no consequences, just future runs at drops? To endure requests from people begging you to please do complicated quests for them so that they can have red dye on the armor they'll replace tomorrow? To listen to others proudly shout out their "deep understanding" of complex political, economic, or scientific concepts they doubtless gained from mining virtual iron ore for six hours a day? To spend peaceful weekday down time telling socially inept children– some of whom are in their 30s and 40s – to STFU?"
Well, sure, there's that. And I've been playing online games since 1990, so I've seen all that aplenty. I'm what you'd call a Dungeon Curmudgeon –a guy who has been around long enough to have seen the ins and outs of many an MMO, been to the meet and greets, watched the n00bs come and go, and even remember when w00t wasn't a word. (And it still isn't as far as I am concerned -- l33tspeak is Pig Latin for the Internet -- except that the dictionary people haven't figured that out yet).
Yet looking beyond the archetype of the teen-aged moustached, pizza-faced veneer of social ineptitude, something more complex and curious is happening. You see, I think MMOs are the finishing schools of the Internet.
Some of you may be saying "what are you talking about? MMOs are nothing like girls' schools for social training!" Let's have a look at that gut reaction...
What makes up an MMO? In my experience, take a bunch of know-it-alls who deep down think they are twenty -somethings (ranging from 12 to 45 in age) and throw them into an artificial environment where they pay to do menial tasks that simulate how to survive in the real world while allowing them a bend-over-backward level of freedom. Lower their inhibitions, offer them as much noncommittal virtual social situations, violence, sex, and chances to meet people at random as possible while trying to and failing at acting cool. Let them spout off about things they don't know about, scam each other, and butt heads while arguing over who is top dog and who gets scarce resources, and throw some alcohol in for the twenty-one-and-over set, and one way or another, it sounds like college to me.
Personally, I'm fine with that. College was fun.
So if you accept that MMOs are not dissimilar to a college environment, the next question would be whether G.I.F.T. ed people actually pick up social and communications skills.
Well, they do. Analyses of online and role-playing chat support the idea that these games improve communications skills. I believe it – for starters, you can't grunt, "um," and "you know" your way through demanding instances forever. When all you've got to work with is your keyboard, and maybe Ventrilo, there's virtually no time for communications ambiguity. Either you're surviving the flying protozoa in your CoH raid and dropping Thorog's explosive debuff in LotRO, or else the mobs will teach you what Mr. Bear taught Mr. Rabbit after relieving himself in the woods – what it means to be the victim of a wipe.
What's more, while our misfits can't share their G.I.F.T. ed views without giving whole new meanings to PUG ugly, anonymity cuts both ways. Loser A may feel uninhibited and free to run off at the mouth, but Community B feels free to laugh or kick his ass because of the same lack of inhibition. And viola! We have the dynamic that starts these morons on the road of either better social skills or a lot more soloing.
As it happens, I find guilds with married couples particularly effective at reining in wild horses. That's partly due to tag-team efforts. However, I also know that an awful lot of stay-at-home moms play MMORPGs, and I can't help but think that now that they have kids in the world, they've got a bit of a gut reaction toward policing the game environment to keep it something they approve of. If you are a mom and use your free time to (in effect) help police your MMO, I salute you.
But I'll even go one step further. Aside from the negative feedback loop, I have seen MMOs help people who are way too inhibited loosen up and be someone they want to be – all without the (regular) use of alcohol. As shocking as it may seem, I am saying that role playing just might reap the benefits role playing, psychology style. I don't know that I can hunt down any links to cite as evidence, but I can say from personal observation that I've seen people come out of their shells over the course of months or years as a result of finding the right group of people to get fun and weird with. That is one of my favorite, unintended aspects of the genre. As it turns out, for some people, roleplaying is roleplaying.
The other side of the coin, of course, is that MMOs are great for preparing those in the shallow end of the social pool to deal with humanity in its various forms. You can see crass hucksters trying to sell you their [Snake Oil] before their lying skills are polished enough to make the sale effective. You can learn how people really operate by winding them up and letting them go. Sometimes, people knock me out with their unasked for kindness to newbies who are struggling as best they can. Meeting kill stealers and ninja looters is great instruction on the value of trust (and again, self-selection for social ostracism). And there's always the drama types, like the people with the posturing and crybaby delivery one-two combo. You know, the people who don't play the game so much as their issues? Tip: People who strut around to "prove" that they are bad never are. Real tough guys don't need to prove jack. A wise and wary observer of human nature could learn plenty from watching these folks in action.
All that said, I totally understand why there are Adults Only (AO) guilds. I have to get away from the drama too, some days. And on those days, I think the requirement for AO guilds shouldn't judge candidates by their ages so much as some small proof that they've had cash-free, real life, consensual ...
But I digress.
