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Reader Comments (11)

Posted: Nov 3rd 2007 8:56PM (Unverified) said

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Good read. I'm fortunate enough to have a wonderful wife that I play with and it appears as though I'm in good company (http://www.thebronzekettle.com/?p=34).

I do know that there are those out there that don't have this luxury, and it can be difficult to justify to a significant other a hobby that competes directly with their time. The best advice I can give is that if you can't get your partner to join you in your leisure activities, attempt to get them interested in a hobby of their own. It can be anything from more casual gaming (nintendo ds ftw), crafting, scrapbooking, martial arts, water polo, picking up a second language, the possibilities are limitless. Ideally the selected activity would be something that can be done at the same time that you do yours.

Overall, remember that moderation is key. Anything is subject to addiction so don't let gaming dominate your life. Epic loot is far less rewarding than an epic relationship.

Posted: Nov 3rd 2007 9:39PM (Unverified) said

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Wtb epic relationship, pst!
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Posted: Nov 4th 2007 2:40AM (Unverified) said

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"Epic loot is far less rewarding than an epic relationship."

So very true, but I'm still glad to be in the same boat as you guys!
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Posted: Nov 3rd 2007 11:51PM (Unverified) said

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If you don't spend time with your SO, someone else will.

Posted: Nov 4th 2007 2:54AM (Unverified) said

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Fortunately for me, all my quality time is spent during the day, with MMO time at night. This means that not only is my family already asleep, leaving no guilt for me, but many servers are relatively underpopulated -- no lag!

Posted: Nov 4th 2007 4:49AM (Unverified) said

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Wife aggro is the best you can have ;)

No I've serieously had some issues with this, but since she (girlfriend in this case) is watching TV from 8pm - 11pm I usually have my time to do what I want to do (WoW for example, or watch a 'real movie' on my PC) and at around 11.30 we go to bed -together.

Ofcourse she'll be a bit angry because I left bed early and started farming, but I've gotta raid this afternoon !

Posted: Nov 5th 2007 10:03PM (Unverified) said

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lol seems like the wowinsider and tbc crew jumping back and forth in a mutual love fest! Of course, I do agree whole heartedly...a similar post about scheduled play time (thank you ms. harper) led to my wife and I creating a shared calendar with google calendar and putting important events (who gets up with the kids on what mornings) and less important (Kara run 6-11), not only does this keep the fighting about play time down, but it gets us together for a fun hour or so to look at the week ahead.

Posted: Dec 9th 2007 7:53PM (Unverified) said

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Tell me. How do I get my husband to agree to schedule a WoW night? If WoW were relegated to a status even close to comparable to a bowling league night or a golf day, I would be THRILLED!!! But WoW is more comparable to a golf day that happens daily. Hobby? No it's a fricking obsession!

Posted: Dec 9th 2007 8:03PM (Unverified) said

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jashby, I'm going to make some assumptions about the relationship you have with your husband, but what it sounds like you are asking for is advice on behavior modification.

If you make it clear to him that you will respect his "scheduled" game time without drama, complaining, or snarky comments, it will be in your husband's best interests to schedule his game play.

If he "schedules" WoW time every day for 6 hours/day, then you have every right to look him in the eye and ask "Are you freakin' serious?" In the end, you can't force him to do anything any more than he can force you to accept his choices in leisure time. It is up to you to define what is acceptable in a relationship, and up to him to decide if he can live with that.

Your call.

-K
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Posted: Dec 29th 2007 12:01PM (Unverified) said

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you people are pathetic, sure it's better than your loved one going out and cheating on you, or doing drugs, but the situation I am in is ridiculous, he comes home from work around 5:30pm and goes straight to his computer, before WOW it was his Mac, before his Mac it was his PSP and before his PSP it was his fucking playstation. This is not my son, my brother or my father I'm talking about... This is supposed to be my boyfriend, whom was once my fiance'.

I understand he needs some alone time when he gets home from work... That's fine I need my alone time too. But when he goes straight to his computer when he gets home without even kissing me, or asking how my day was it becomes extremely depressing after a while. Not to mention some nights he stays on til 2 or 3 in the morning and then has to get up for work the next day.

He can't even spend one night with me out of his busy week. And he doesn;t see what the problem is? He think just because he is home with me, that I will stay with him. What the hell am I meant to do? He's 25 years old for gods sake, not to mention he is very vindictive when it comes to approaching him about the issue. It's never his fault, it's his alone time. I have monitored his online time. There was a whole 7 days at one stage, where he would spend upto 8 hours a night on WOW. What is more important, someone who will love you back, help you when you're sick or comfort you when you are down? or a GAME!!! Something that won't ask you how your day was, something that doesn't kiss you good night, something that is FICTIONAL... You people are crazy for getting involved in the game if you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband or child.

You think it's us "wow widows" that are the in the wrong, but think about what you have, think about the time when you first met that person and they were all you could think about. I fear that my boyfriend will wind up a lonely, fat, computer nerd. What happens when your loved one leaves you??? What happens when the next person leaves you?? Will you still sit there and think its so great... When you ignore you loved one so much they go and get love somewhere else.. You should all be ashamed of yourselves... People in the olden days didn't need a game to keep them amused. So the next time you go to log on, and the person who is "nagging" says "why do you HAVE to play that stupid, stupid game?" click cancel and take them on a romantic outing. Show them you really do care. AND DON'T JUST DO THIS ONCE IN A WHILE!!!!! Show them EVERYDAY that you love them, not with a kiss or a I love you, although that is still very much appreciated. But with an original and caring way. Something that will keep them interested in you. Spend a few days a week showing them you care!!!

Posted: Dec 29th 2007 12:09PM (Unverified) said

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Wait a second, exactly who is the pathetic one? He's spending his time doing what he wants to do, and you're the one who is upset because it isn't spending time with you.

You're the one "trapped" in a bad relationship because you insist that your boyfriend become something he isn't. "Training" your significant other is a mad fiction penned by sitcom writers and bitter vituperative harpies who believe that they have the right to control other people, particularly the men in their lives.

If he isn't giving you what you want in a relationship, then why are you still in that relationship? Love? You mean you are so dedicated to your boyfriend that you would tolerate his ignoring your needs in favor of his own entertainment? If you aren't getting anything out of this relationship, then why continue it? Find yourself a boyfriend who is more of what you want.

I'm sorry, the word "pathetic" is indeed appropriate, but not as it is applied to him. You're a "victim-by-choice", and there isn't much in this world more pathetic than that.

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